The three pillars of how to have a successful alternative relationship.
Never stop talking about your experience.
Always keep your partner in the front of your mind
Share how you really feel in a emotionally mature way.
Yup, communicate. Talk about what you both want out of the lifestyle. What do you want to explore together.
Joining the lifestyle as a couple isn't one sided because you're not getting the level of s*x you want. It's about 2 people who are secure enough in their relationship to explore more together.
How do you create your boundaries? Well, you talk to your partner about hyperthetical situations. If you don't feel good with the situation then that is a boundary. Stick with them until you feel okay to push that certain boundary.
Boundaries can be minor or major things. I know couples who don't like kissing and that's their boundary. They feel it's romantic and wish to keep it between themselves.
I was in the same position, I wanted a single woman to come and join my husband and I in the bedroom. Do you know why they are called unicorns? Because they're rare in the lifestyle.
Don't get your hopes up that this will happen. I did and I felt bummed out that we couldn't find the perfect woman for us. Talk about other options to ensure you don't feel deflated with the search.
That's right! It's called a soft swap. You don't have to jump into the deep end and swap partners. Let me explain more what soft swapping is and how it can be the first step for you to get started.
Soft swapping can mean a variety of things and you make up the rules. Soft Swapping could be only the women play with each other and the guys stick with their own partner or you have full intercourse with your own partner and are only allowed to touch the other couple. The list is endless. Sometimes, just having s*x next to another couples can create enough energy for an amazing adrenaline rush.
Full swapping is the majorities go to thing. It's exciting and really can get the adrenaline going!
My only advice is this.
Make sure both are you attracted to the other couple. Don't take one for the team.
Make sure to ask their boundaries so no one can say it was a terrible night. Stay cool, you've got this!
if it's your first time going to a club, go with the mindset that your only going for a drink and a look around. Do not go expecting anything and if you want to play, you're only going to play with each other. You will be surprised on how much it dampens the nerves down when you adopt this mindset.
You may be submissive but if you feel uncomfortable with someones actions. Speak up. You can always go to the staff of the venue with any issues and they will resolve it. The aim is to have a magical and rememberable night.
Join the SwingHub app coming this Spring.